it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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