piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
