I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
