So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
