Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.

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(313): View more from Michigan

he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

Fav 3 2546 1031
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.

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(206): View more from Washington

Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.

Fav 19 2032 966
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience

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(206): View more from Washington

I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO

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(770): View more from Georgia

Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.

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