my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
