After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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