just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
