I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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