So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
