u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
