There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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