90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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