taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
