wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize