You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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