high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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