i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
