all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize