arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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