Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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