Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
