You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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