Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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