where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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