he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
