We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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