waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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