i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
