No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
