So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
