I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
