before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize
