The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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