Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we're making bets on your personal life
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I had to cum in my sink.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
