I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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