I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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