your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
