I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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