Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
