Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
