She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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