lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
