apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
