And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
