whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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