Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
