In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
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