My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i came on her dog
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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