is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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