Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Please, let me fuck your mom
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
