I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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