STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize