The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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