So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize