Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That's intense
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
