Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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