Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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