dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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