Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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