you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
