thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize