Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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