grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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