so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
