I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
