Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
