Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
