That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
