Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's shark week go big or go home
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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