did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
