Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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