NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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