You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
