Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
