I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
