i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
