come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
